How to Catch a Badger

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Two badgers are caught using the sly methods of Shayla Roper. These techniques are also known to work on Snow College badgers, the big hunks you see walking around campus. Photo courtesy of buzz.bournemouth.ac.uk

Two badgers are caught using the sly methods of Shayla Roper. These techniques are also known to work on Snow College Badgers, the big hunks you see walking around campus.
Photo courtesy of buzz.bournemouth.ac.uk

You’ve seen your crush wandering around campus looking so suave, but are you having trouble approaching him in fear of embarrassing yourself? With these simple tips and tricks you’ll have your badger caught in no time.
First thing you need to do to avoid humiliation is to set up a game plan. Find somewhere you could “bump” into him and make it appear totally random and not creepy or stalker-like. Make sure your plan has multiple options, we can’t always predict how someone else will act. Always make sure you have a last resort backup plan in case your plan turns into the Titanic.
Now that you have your plan of action, it’s time to set your trap or strategy. You don’t want it to be obvious or else he will never fall for it. Consider running into each other at a common place. Also it’s best to make sure your trap is near his natural habitat.
Next, monitor where your trap is set. Make sure he goes there often and sees you there too. Just act natural. Watch him to identify any traits early that can be considered undesirable so you can back out of your decision before it’s too late. Be ready to act at all times, but don’t act too soon because that can scare him away before he is ready.
Once you have acted and “tested your trap,” let him feel comfortable around you. Being too overbearing can cause him to feel awkward and scared. If you ever want to see him again, you must remember to follow through on this step. Don’t focus only on you or just him. Let the conversation flow freely as if you’re talking to a friend.
Finally, it is time to bait your trap. He feels comfortable around you by now (if you didn’t freak him out in the last step). Take him a homemade or store-bought, if cooking just isn’t your thing, treat. This should expand your trust and he will then fall into the trap you laid.
Congratulations! You have successfully captured your first badger. Next week I will be instructing you on skinning your badger and how to butcher all of your fresh badger meat. Follow me on Pinterest for great ideas on how to use your badger pelt and for some scrumptious badger stew ideas.

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