Santa Claus Explained Badly

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Santa Claus eating all the food. Photo courtesy of

On the night of December 25, this magical old, white bearded dude travels in his flying cart driven by eight moose to deliver boxes to children all over the world. One of his moose is named after that love baby that throws arrows at people, another is named after that space thingy that passes really fast in the sky. According to legend, he lives in the pole on the top of the earth where he has a factory of miniature humans working for him. Apparently, it takes him 364 days to build the boxes for kids, but only one night to deliver them all. Dude has some mad skills. 

On Christmas Eve, this guy somehow shrinks his size and slides down the chimneys of the houses when all the people are asleep. He eats all their food and leaves. Good luck to the old man if a fireplace is on. This guy also has the ability to see people when they are sleeping, knowing when they are awake and if they have been bad or good. This dude has eyes everywhere. It’s creepy really. And if someone is bad, he leaves black rock in the socks hanging around the people house. The black rock probably got stuck in his boots from all those fireplaces he visits. 

So, in conclusion, put up your chimney guard and lock up the food, this Santa dude is coming to town real soon. And, obviously, people with Claustrophobia should stay at home. 

Andrea Bustillo is an international student from Honduras. This is her second year at Snow College, pursuing a Broadcasting Communication Degree. She’s aspiring to achieve a Media Production major in Film, television and writing where she can inspire people through her work. Her philosophy is that if you can dream it and work hard for it, you can do it.

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