I’ve read somewhere that taking relationship advice from someone who can’t keep a relationship is like taking financial advice from a homeless person. However, if a homeless person was to tell you to not bet on the Grand Chaw-Hee in the horse races (even if it is his birthday), you’d probably listen, right? Because they’re experts at losing money, you just have to do the opposite of what they did. So trust me with what I’m about to tell you.
It’s a new semester, new roommates, new classes, new crushes – time for a new adventure! The first thing you are going to want to do is fall in love – but don’t. Just…don’t. Be a little more cautious.
College is a milestone in “adult life,” so you want an adult relationship, right? Well as much as we all want that A.S.A.P., real adult relationships are not flung out there in a matter of weeks. You’ve probably gone to a lot of the “back-to-school” events and even met a cute girl or guy (maybe several). But even if it feels mutual, it is always wise to pump the brakes a little on “getting serious.”
Yes, hang out. Yes, date. Build friendships. Court those people who would be good candidates for a life companion – but don’t feel like the search needs to be done and over this semester, or even next semester! That smart, funny, adorable girl or guy you’ve been thinking about for the last few days isn’t the last one you’ll find, so you don’t need to tie the knot immediately. Take your time. Even if everyone about you is getting married, it doesn’t mean you have to.
College life is not about frantically searching for a spouse. College life is about preparing yourself for a spouse. Discover your passions, discover your interests, discover your skills! Focus on building yourself more than building yourself around someone else. That can come later, and it’s okay.
Love is like Jell-O. It’s delicious, it makes you happy, and nobody can really tell you what it is. It also tends to ooze out of your fingers when you squeeze too hard. So just relax. As you build yourself and your relationships with many of your new friends, love will happen naturally.
Simply put, don’t try to force a good thing. Build yourself and let it come. It doesn’t work any other way, trust me.