Ladies Give Tips for No-Shave November

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_JLS6455“I’m sorry, but I mustache you a question,” I said, as I questioned Snow College girls on the subject of No-Shave November.

We’ve all heard of No-Shave November, and many of us have participated in it. Personally, this is the first time I’ve participated, so I’ve been loving it! But what do the girls think? That’s what we really care about, right? This week I set out to answer that question, and the results are enlightening.

Before I begin though, I should share this disclaimer: girls I spoke to emphasized that these are only ever attractive if you can actually grow them; if it’s patchy or just “peach fuzz,” it’s best just to shave every day, guys.

I asked over 50 random girls all over campus about their preferences on five types of facial hair: beard, scruff, goatee, mustache, or simply clean-shaven. I compiled the data, and this is what I got:

In last place, the least preferred form of facial hair is the mustache! In fact, it is so little preferred that it got zero percent of the votes! That’s right, nothing. It seems there is no statistically significant data to support growing a mustache, fellas. Might as well rip it off in as manly a way as possible to get some points back.

 

A little more popular than mustaches, with seven percent of the votes, is a goatee. You can grow facial hair, but only on the chin? Well, statistically speaking, that only puts you in favor with seven percent of Snow College ladies! No offense, but it’s probably better not to have one at all.

 

With 12 percent of the votes is a big, husky beard. Here in Ephraim, beards seem pretty common, especially among Sanpete locals; however, 12 percent is only 12 percent, so just for that reason I wouldn’t recommend it. Apparently, when it comes to facial hair, more is not always better!

 

In second place, jumping to 36 percent of the votes, is a good-looking, clean-shaven young man. Not surprisingly, considering the largely LDS demographic, the “missionary look” on the guys is more preferable than mustaches, goatees, or beards, which is good news for those guys who struggle to grow them.

 

Finally, in first place, with an impressive 45 percent of the votes is…drum-roll… Scruff! It seems that girls like enough facial hair to prove your manliness, but not so much that you can’t still pull off a gentlemanly appearance. So stay scruffy, my friends.

 

For No-Shave November this year, if you can grow it, then own it! But if you want the ladies’ attention, take their advice: keep it rough and keep it short; otherwise, keep it clean!

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