You’ve done it. The initial sparks of interest have matured into the beginning of a full-fledged flame of a relationship. Somehow, you just managed to land the girl of your dreams. So uh, now what? How in the world are you going to get her to stick around?
Chances are that if an intimate relationship has formed, the first weeks and months are exciting. You learn everything about your new love. The majority of your free time is spent together, and you can’t believe you have it so good.
However, no matter how strong the bond is with your new lady friend, eventually it’s going to require some upkeep and maintenance if you want it to keep going. You have to keep stoking the fire. So here are a few “Do’s” and “Do Not’s” to help you out.
-Show her you care. Remind her on a regular basis why she enjoys seeing you. Hugs, kisses, notes, and compliments will work wonders. Actions speak louder than words remember.
-Be down for anything! Snow student Caitlin Carr stated, “Go on adventures together! Don’t just watch movies on the couch every weekend. That gets so old. Be spontaneous. Get off your butt and GO OUT. No one likes boring people.” Keep the relationship exciting. According to fastcocreate.com, 28% of breakups occur because of loss of interest.
-Give each other some space. Guys, let your girl have a ladies night with her roommates every once in a while. Don’t get between her and spending time with her family. Let her know you need your bro time to kill some zombies on Call of Duty or scream at the TV during a football game while having a beard growing contest.
-Do not be overbearing or move faster than she is comfortable with. That means don’t ask her father for her hand in marriage the second week you are dating. We all know someone who bugs the bejesus out of us with their overwhelming personality. Don’t be that person.
-My personal favorite. Don’t discuss your relationship over text. Even with emoticons, “lol’s,” and “bahaha’s,” true emotions are often hard to get across digitally. Show her you aren’t afraid to talk about your relationship status openly in person. And while we’re on the topic of phones, put the dang thing away when you are together. When you are with her, make sure you are actually present.
-Finally, don’t keep secrets. The American writer Dorothy Allison said, “Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.” If you find yourself hiding messages, telling white lies, or are in a constant state of paranoia about what you’re doing, chances are you have started down that road already. Knock it off. Honesty is the only way to go.
If you really want to keep a good thing going, some time and effort might be required. If you really want it to last though, it will be well worth it.