“When you know, you know.” Everybody and their dog has heard this phrase when talking about the right time to propose. However, society has a ton of varying opinions when it comes to the appropriate time for a couple to get engaged.
According to The Knot, a media tool to help plan weddings and provide marriage feedback, the average couple in The United States date for over two years before popping the question. After that time spent dating, there is an average of 12-18 months before the actual wedding.
Although this is the nation's average, it is different depending where you live. Here in Utah, those statistics are a bit skewed. The Knot surveyed couples in Utah and found that the average dating time before getting engaged is only 10 months.
So what is the right amount of time to wait? Obviously, there is no universal set amount of waiting period that works with every relationship. So the answer is not as simple as a number.
Chad Lewis, a student here at Snow and a boyfriend in a long term relationship, touched on this. “I think it’s different for everyone. Some couples can take a really long time to take that jump, while others can know they are the one in weeks. I don’t think there's a certain amount of time to wait. However, I do think that you should really get to know who your partner truly is, which I think takes some time.”
Most people agree that the right time to propose isn’t achieved after putting in the hours, but in learning who your partner is.
A married student, Weston Poulson, said “There are so many parts of marriage couples need to figure out before making that commitment. Everybody talks about how when you marry somebody, you also marry their family. Where your partner has a good relationship with their family, it is super important to make having a good relationship with them a priority. There are a lot of other things to consider too, like shared faith/beliefs, compromising future, and mutual effort into the relationship.”
Poulson went on to say “Couples also need to learn how they work together through conflict. Learning who they are is a great start, but you should make sure that you’re going to be able to work together as a team to overcome trials. This is usually only learned over time. That being said, I do not believe that you should procrastinate your engagement either.”
At the end of the day, the right time will be different for everybody. Dating culture can be hard because it can put pressure on couples to hurry and get married, or wait a long time to make sure it’s what is right. There is no universal answer, so partners need to communicate and figure out their own time frame.