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  • Sandra Cox

Guys vs. Girls on their Dating Expectations

Raegann McCurdy and Ben Vance in an Autumn blind photoshoot. Photo by Tayler Poulson.

Do guys and girls have the same opinions when it comes to dating in college? That's the question we wanted to ask, as one of the biggest walls students tend to hit in the dating world is trying to figure out what the opposite gender thinks.

To get a better understanding of who thinks what, over 65 students, guys and girls, at Snow were asked the big questions on relationship commitment, the talking stage, relationship readiness, and the overall goal of dating in college. Here’s what they had to say, starting with the guys:

The first question was about the commitment expectations for “the talking stage.” Most guys were split between expecting full openness with no commitment (around 43%) and being flexible depending on the situation (about 46%). Only a few guys said they expected full exclusiveness from the talking stage (10%)

Next, students were asked for their thoughts on commitment, if they enjoy it or if it’s a big “NO” for them. Most guys (about 46%) said they enjoy being committed to someone, next were guys saying commitment was just alright, (about 32%). Only a handful of guys were indifferent on commitment (3%) or said they didn’t like it at all (3%)

Another big question is, what should the goal of dating in college be? Is it dating around just to date around and simply have fun, or is the goal to get into that relationship? Interestingly, guys were almost split on this as well, where 53% of guys said the goal of dating in college should just be dating around and 46% of guys said the goal was a relationship.

Now let’s dive into what the girls have to say. When asked about their expectations for the “talking” stage, the majority were actually indifferent to the matter with roughly 47% saying it could go either way and depends on the circumstances. 21% said the “talking” stage should be completely exclusive, and 31% said there should be absolutely no commitment at all.

The girls followed the same trend as the guys on the commitment question. 42% of girls surveyed love the idea of commitment. Meanwhile, 23% said they were scared of it and didn’t like commitment at all. 28% said commitment was alright and the last 5% said they didn’t care.

Now back to arguably one of the most important and talked about questions, Is the goal of college dating to just date around, or to be in a relationship? Now if we look back to the guy’s statistics, they were almost perfectly split, with a slight lean towards dating around. Meanwhile, the girls were split with a lean towards being in a relationship. 58% of girls said the goal of dating is to be in a relationship, while 42% said it is just to date around.

One statistic that was vastly different between girls and boys was the question of relationship readiness. The majority of guys said it’s okay to meet someone who can help them become ready for a relationship. On the other hand, the majority of girls said you have to be ready for a relationship before you meet that special someone.

Overall, these findings are complex, more girls said they expect exclusiveness from the talking stage than guys, but more guys say they enjoy commitment than girls. Making it clear that dating at snow is quite unclear, and perhaps gives an explanation as to why it’s difficult for opposite genders to understand each other. In fact, guys were split on many things and girls were split on many things, so there’s not much consistency anywhere. Janae Jenkins, a sophomore, laughed and said, “most relationships at snow are situationships, not relationships”. It seems as though maybe it isn’t a gender thing at all, and it really just comes down to finding the right person.

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